(K)not necessary?!

Marry at twenty one or you are about to become the most talked about person in the family and neighbourhood..

 Aunt says,” Find a match for her soon, sis, or she’s bound to find one herself” She is ‘worried’ that the girl might take her own decision( as if that is something to be discouraged!)

Granny says,”Oh, child, don’t  you want me to be alive and well for your marriage? Don’t you want my blessings?”  She probably has loads stacked up for every occasion..

Leaving behind the skepticism, Indian parents need to broaden their views about marriage.. All their daughters have got to do is attain 21 and they fire off at a furious pace carrying horoscopes all around the place and they’re all ears for anyone with news about a “good-looking, educated(oh, please), well-off” prospective groom. It is mandatory that a girl should be a married woman with two kids by the time she is 25… Failing which she’s an old woman too aged for a marriage that doesn’t have guests whispering to each other,” She should have married earlier.. her skin is starting to wrinkle!!”

Addressing the society:t

What is wrong with you, people,  why can’t you leave serious, life-making decisions to the individual?. It is obviously a decision that the girl has to take for herself. Indian marriage setup is in itself an act appeasing male chauvinism. The bride has to bid farewell to her parents and enter a forum she is completely new to.. While the groom gets to happily stay with his parents and yeah, enjoy the newfound company too.  It’s infuriating that daughters since time immemorial have bowed down and taken this subjugation without protest. If marriage is the union of two families(as they say), then why is the bride so cruelly separated from her family,( not to mention the bride’s family)?  And the preposterous part of all this is that they do it all so diplomatically that the bride actually looks forward to it!!  Such brain-washing . “Aren’t you educated, lady, can’t you see injustice is being done to you?” ,you want to ask the bride. Talk about the pre-marriage rituals, especially putting the girl on display in front of the groom’s family.. Embarrassing to both people ‘actually’ concerned(the bride and the groom). And yes, another important criterion for the groom’s side to give the thumbs- up as the go-ahead and spend- as-much-as-you-can(yes, I am coming to that point in a while) sign to the bride’s family is that the girl should be a shade (or many, even more acceptable) downtrodden in comparison to the guy in all aspects measurable. Maybe they’re holding interviews for junior assistant to the guy? U would have heard of interviews where they reject candidates for the sole reason that they are over-qualified for the job..This is along the same lines. It’s time to refresh outlooks and come to terms with reality. There need be absolutely no qualms about getting your son married to a girl who is better –looking, qualified or whatever,  for  that matter.

Addressing parents:

Why do you think it is your duty to get your daughter married at 21?? Give it a thought and you will find you have just been following common practise and there is actually no necessity to think of it as your duty.Give her education and it is her own duty to find her way in the world. Marriage certainly comes under the ‘way’ previously mentioned. Marriage is not some hostel stay to just check out the surrounding and get satisfied that your daughter will be comfortable there. Marriage is not everything.. It is just blown out of proportion in this part of the world. Why give in to all the unwanted hype surrounding marriage? It is nothing to get hyper about.. Things will happen at their own pace.There are lots more important to-dos for your girl than to get married and give birth to kids when she’s a kid herself. Even if you are keen on finding a match for her yourself, you need to know whether she’s ready for marriage yet. She has to ready herself for a variety of responsibilities that she will have to shoulder  as soon as she dons the yellow thread (that seemingly ties two families, ha!). Not looking down upon your concern,  it would be much more practical and understanding on your part if you would let things happen at their own pace and not rush your kid(!) into marriage..